Individual and Couple Counselling in Bude

Self-Esteem


If you have ever thought of yourself as "worthless” or "no one else seems to mess things up like me, I feel I am such a failure"? This can lead to low self-esteem. Noticing when you have these negative thoughts is the first step toward stopping a self-defeating spiral. Would you speak to your friends in this way if they had a problem? Most likely not! Consider how you might speak to a friend, workmate or family member if they were having a problem. Then treat yourself at least as kindly. Many people who are experiencing trouble with their self-esteem often believe they are not important and that their views are of no consequence.


Whatever you're facing right now, you are important!


Ask Yourself:



People with low self-esteem find it difficult to give a positive answer to all or most of the above. Did you find it difficult? If so, what can be done about it?


Remember that everyone in this world is unique, therefore each and every one of us is important enough to have as much right as anyone else to live in this world! Like many other people, we make mistakes and most of us learn through getting things wrong before we get them right. Unfortunately, lots of people with low self-esteem really beat themselves up whenever they make a mistake. They feel that they are 'worthless' because they fail at something important to them, lose their job or someone they love. Many people who don’t have a problem with self-esteem or self-confidence are able to shrug off these setbacks. It may be a good idea to remind ourselves that it's just a small part of who we really are.  Try not to condemn the whole of our being when we make mistakes or do something we're not particularly proud of.


It is a good idea to remind ourselves that we all have equal rights, opinions and ideas that are just as valid as of anyone else's, this may help us to improve our self-esteem. If you are lacking in self-esteem, you may find it hard to think positively about yourself at all. So, try writing a list of 10 things that you like and admire about yourself. This may take some time to complete, but try to persevere! When you have reached your 10 good things, write them down again on small pieces of card that you can carry with you at all times. Shuffle the cards twice a day so that you can view your good points in a different order, then read them all. Do this every day and you will begin to accept your own uniqueness and self-worth.


Having poor self-esteem can often make our lives, relationships and workplace far more difficult than they need to be. Once you have a more positive regard for yourself, you'll find that everything in your world will run much smoother than it does at the present moment. You will find that an experienced Counsellor will be able to discover the cause of your problem and assist you in using structured interventions that will begin the changes that set you on a path to recovery.

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